Creatively Frustrated

My mind seems to be in a million different places right now & it's keeping me from being able to express myself through poetry, which is one of my favorite things to do. I've come to this place in my life where I'm not really happy because when I sit back & examine every aspect of my life, I'm not really content with anything. I don't just want to be content... I want to be passionate about my life & everything that I choose to be a part of.  If it's school, my job, my relationship... I want to feel passion for it all & right now I'm just going through the motions & that's not what I want at all.

My creativity flows from love, passion, excitement, joy & pain. Pain is an emotion that I've experienced recently, but when I've tried to express this specific situation on paper all is does is bring me to tears. I honestly feel ashamed of what I've allowed to occur in my life & rather not have to relive it by reading about it. But this is something that I've never experienced before because when I'm unhappy or infuriated I usually write my best work... It's usually an outlet for me, but as of lately I haven't seen it that way.

Nothing is how I want it to be, so that's why creatively I'm not there. I first have to pick up the pieces of my life to be able to produce things that I'm proud of. I'd like to think that I'm a work in progress & I will no longer go with the flow or be complacent... I'm about to go under some massive construction. Hope I can get to where I want to be sooner than later...