Miss Stress (Mistress)

Just sitting here wondering how I ended up in the situation that I'm in. I find myself going against my morals, things that I believe in & doing things that are so far left from my character. Is this what LOVE causes you to do? Because this role that I'm portraying isn't who I am or who I want to be. But when it comes to him there are no boundaries or limitations to what I'll do for him. How did I manage to fall in love with a man that doesn't belong to me? A man that loves me just as deeply as I love him, but also loves someone else... Miss Stress is what you can call me. Stressing about his phone calls, stressing about his visits, stressing about not knowing the next time I'll be able to see him. Stressing the fact that I love him is so unnecessary though. Him & everyone else knows, but it doesn't change this harsh reality. Legally he belongs to her, but in reality his heart belongs to me.

There is no amount of time or space between us that makes these feelings go away. This blazing fire I feel for him never dies down, it only increases. It doesn't make a difference if we haven't seen eachother or talked to eachother for a whole year, I see him & my heart melts everytime. So how will this rollercoaster ride end? After all the bumps & collisions, he's still hanging on with her. Will I ever become faint & nauseous to the point where I'll finally jump off? I don't know, but I just don't see a happy ending in the future. In no way, shape, or form am I oblivious to the circumstances of the situation, but something keeps me holding on. Maybe it's because I love every aspect of him or the way he treats me or even the way he loves me... But regardless, this cannot play out this way forever. Could there possibly be some type of happy ending?